


Paradise From My Eyes

by EvertheOptimistWaywardAF



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Not justifying him though, One Shot, POV Lucifer, POV Lucifer (Supernatural), this is not a redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:55:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23338738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF/pseuds/EvertheOptimistWaywardAF
Summary: Lucifer is a grade-A jerk and he's absolutely ready to talk his ass off for an hour, especially when prompted by Jack. However, due to Jack's good perception, he's finding it kinda hard to lie and has to tell a somewhat true story of how he became Lucifer.This fic takes Lucifer's perspective on the events of Supernatural and his life, trying to justify his actions to Jack without lying, while he's actually thinking all the things he would say if he could.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Paradise From My Eyes

Sam Winchester is the type of guy who likes to kick back and chug down a fresh, green, disgusting tomato smoothie and feel good about himself. He’s honestly one of the people I hate the most in the world because his base desire is taking care of his mental health. He sees meditation as fun and helping people as a reward. If there’s anyone really worthy of being my archnemesis, it’s Sam. Sam is also a problem because his smart, yoga loving butt and rough, plaid, shiny haired exterior tends to kick my ass whenever we fight. 

Our biggest fight lately has been over my son, Jack. Sam’s a real asshole about the whole thing and I really think it would be great to knock some sense into him if Jack wasn’t studying me all the time. Jack’s cute. He doesn’t look like me very much, which I was pretty mad at when I first saw him but I eventually got over. He’s kind of missing the whole red wings and horns deal and instead is a little on the optimism yellow side, but there’s nothing I can’t work with. I’ve told him that he was posioned against me and he just got his large blue eyes look and walked away, probably to confirm with his precious Sam if that’s true.   
Sam adores Jack, and Jack adores Sam. If there’s anyone in the world that I had wished Jack would never interact with, it would’ve been Sam. If I had my way, Sam would be dead right now, but sadly, nope. He’s alive. If I kill him, Jack will get mad, and I really can’t have that if we’re going to destroy the Earth together. It’s gotta be a slow thing. 

“Why do turtles have shells?” Jack asks me. My child is a r-. “Is it to protect them?”  
“Yeah,” I told him. He looked at me, his legs crossed in a way that said he was comfortable but curious. Great.   
“What eats turtles?” Jack says, his eyes widening in horror.   
“Birds and sharks.”  
“But if everything is God’s creation and God’s creation is good, why would birds and sharks eat turtles?”  
“Wow, you’re really trying to figure out why I’m evil,” I remarked. Maybe my child was not stupid after all.“Just because God makes things doesn’t make them good, Jack. We all get a choice. And God is definitely not one to judge on character, kid.”   
“Why did you fall?”  
“Have you ever read Paradise Lost? No? It’s because I was too sexy.”   
“Gross. Why did you actually fall?”  
“I felt that angels should have free will, that we should be able to marry whoever we want. I also thought that angels should be honored just as highly as humans, because God favored the humans over us for their souls and their ability to choose.”   
“You’re still lying,” Jack says. He’s way too perceptive. I can see his eyebrow lift, the way his eyes seem to scan into mine like he’s trying to catch me in a lie and actually doing it quite well. I know I can give him any speech on my reasons but he’d always know it’s not the truth. Yeah, I had a lot of reasons for falling. I didn’t feel like sharing the real reason with Jack.   
“I fell because I was angry at my father,” I said. It was true, even if it wasn’t the elaborated truth and this seemed to make Jack rest a little easier, his shoulders unclenching.   
“Did you hate him?”  
“No,” I wasn’t sure whether or not that was the truth. Jack seemed to be unsure of my motives either. He seemed to sense that I was at a loss.   
“What did he do to you?” Jack asked. I was shocked at the question, honestly. Jack had gone from a two to a ten in about a minute, striking this question right where it hurt.   
“I usually like to complain about my old man but right now is a bad time,” I told him, looking out the dusted window toward the Winchesters. The stood around the lake, discussing us as if we couldn’t hear. They constantly forget we’re celestial beings. “Yeah, he gave me this corruptive mark thing and banished me from Heaven for asking to be equal and free and generally he’s been an absent father. Michael pretty much raised me and Raphael from the get-go and I pretty much raised Gabe on my own. It was a hard life, with dad.”   
“Tell me about it,” Jack said. I looked at him, a strange feeling in my chest. I can’t say I actually care about Jack beyond honor and the fact that he’s my biological kid. I barely know him but something brought patience out in me- I felt trust, and I felt, for the first time, I was telling my story to somebody who cared. 

I was born as a baby. Most people think I was just zapped into existence, but I was actually a cute little guy and everybody loved me. Everybody at the time was Auntie Amara, Dad, and Michael. The universe wanted things to be created, and that’s why it spawned Amara from nothing. She had no interest in creating, so the universe spawned Dad, and then he made me and Michael, and everything was good.

Michael is older than me in a lot of ways. He’s smarter but I’m more clever. He’s wiser but I’m cunning. We’re about ten for ten on anger management. He was the more skilled fighter but I was more strategic. We were great kids to have around, especially when we have Raphael to bug the crap out of with her rigid need to follow the rules. Gabriel was everyone’s sweetheart. After me, of course. I was the favorite. We used to speak in our own language, pre-enochian but we never had a name for it because it was the only language anyone spoke back then. 

Contrary to popular belief, I was Amara’s third favorite archangel. She loved Raphael and Gabriel. I’m not sure which one she favored more but she had absolutely no interest in Michael. She liked to teach us things that she had picked up, especially as the oldest and wisest deity of us all. Dad and Amara, however, weren’t getting along because Amara wanted to play with his creations, and that often involved Amara ‘ruining’ his stuff and him getting pissed. 

Eventually, this got to be too much for Dad and we got ready for war. Amara was getting angerier and angerier with him, as she had been pushed to the side and forgotten but unable to escape Dad’s ever expanding universe. Dad created this magic rock that he called Earth and we stuffed Amara inside and trapped her in there. The key to keep her inside was carved into my arm as a symbol that I was the holder of the key. Dad thought I was the one who could carry it the best. I think all of us would’ve ended up where I did if we had all got the mark.   
I don’t know. I’m still not sure. 

So dad really liked the concept of building things on Amara’s cage to piss her off so he made this little oasis to try out his stuff. He named it the garden of eden and made a little dude to go inside. Eventually Dad discovered that Adam could hang around all he wanted but never actually do much interesting stuff so Dad made a little Eve to be more interesting, and added this neat tree in the center. Seeing as Dad probably put it there for a plot line, I thought it would be hilarious to get the humans to eat an apple off the tree and apparently so did everyone else. We all kinda agreed that it was funny so I went down there with Gadreel. He didn’t know what was happening but he thought I was on a mission from Dad. I possessed a snake and smooth talked Eve into biting an apple. It wasn’t actually an apple, and their names weren’t actually Adam and Eve, but that doesn’t matter… anyways, she got Adam to try some and they were pretty shocked to find out they were naked.   
Michael came down and was pretty pissed, yelling at Gadreel and having him locked up for letting a suspicious snake inside the garden. Everyone thought that Gadreel had messed everything up, but it was actually me. 

“When was Castiel born?”  
“I’m getting there. Shut up.” 

So anyways, Adam and Eve banged and gave birth to these kids, Cain and Able. And then I turned Eve into a monster because.... why not? Able was a snarky know it all and I was a sassy sexy angel who was very intent on getting rid of my current curse, so I went down and smooth talked Able into taking the key to Amara’s cage. However, Cain wasn’t into this and took it instead. Then he went crazy and killed Able. I didn’t get away with this one that easily because this time, everyone figured out it was me. I think the Mark gave it away.

I was already being a problem because I had already made the first demon, Lilith, and was riding on that high. I went and I corrupted Azazel, Ramiel, and the other stupid yellow eyed demons and started making more generic ones too. It was really great, Jack. I was on a roll with this whole demon thing but Dad got super pissed and sent a flood. He poured all of my demons into this new area he created called Hell and then sent me down there to rule. 

I was still allowed in Heaven so I got away with some other things too. Dad was going to kill this pregnant dog- I know! Anyways, I rescued her and named her Ramsey, and brought her down to Hell. We started making Hell a thing, more than just a fun pit to stay in, but actual demons with actual goals. I went back to Heaven and sweet talked a bunch of angels, and yes- this is where I met Castiel for the first time. She was a little angel back then, and she wasn’t even a seraph yet. Everyone just knew she was destined for greatness, especially when high ranking angel Anna chose her, over the actually qualified angels, for her garrison.

Anna was Michael’s right hand, so I knew her better than the other angels. I didn’t have a right hand anymore because I had been conditionally banished and lost my duties of Heaven, and most of the angels despised me. Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel didn’t, though. They just didn’t know how to feel about the entire situation and you can’t blame them. 

Some people just don’t fit in Dad’s vision, Jack. Ramsey didn’t fit. Lilith and Eve didn’t fit. That’s why all these humans, angels, and monsters sided with me. Dad had an exact idea of what he wanted and nobody was allowed to screw it up, even if he loved them. He was power crazy and controlling, and I knew it had to end. I got a group of angels and together, we rebelled. Michael and Raphael were the big macho leaders in the fight. Gabriel and Metatron made runs for it, seeing as they weren’t big fans of the whole ordeal. It was me and my tiny crew of angels, demons, and humans who wanted to be free of Dad’s big plan.   
We were defeated, and they killed every last angel who sided with me, and then God did the same thing he did to Amara. He sent Michael to trap me inside of a cage, never to be free again. And that was the end of my story. 

“There’s more than that, though,” Jack says. His eyes are persistent, his voice unwavering. He’s not scared of me. He just wants to know everything there is to know. “You got out.”  
“I did,” I said. “I was determined to play out Dad’s plan, follow his motions, and get him to come back. He didn’t. I got locked in the Cage again.”   
“But what about-” Jack started. Thankfully, there was a loud banging on the door. It swung open, revealing a very angry Dean.   
“Jack, where have you been?” Dean’s voice is commanding and sharp. He sounds like Michael, and it totally makes sense to me that they’re bonded. They’re similar, but not quite the same. “We thought you were with Cas in the woods.”  
“I was talking to Lucifer,” Jack says this as if it’s not a radical statement that would get most people into an asylum.   
“Whatever he told you, it’s a lie,” Dean says, grabbed Jack’s arm. I watch as Jack gives me a last look. He doesn’t seem upset, but rather neutral, giving me a look of complete sorrowful ‘oops’. “I can’t believe you-”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I remember this moment now like it was a second ago. Jack was always so happy, in a way that I never could be. I don’t understand why that is. It’s the only good dream I have in the Empty. My other dreams are painful. My feathers being ripped away. The Mark. Watching Gabriel cry. I should have controlled my anger. I should have been a better father. What can I do about nature? If I was born to be a murderer, I’m a murderer. It’s just destiny. Dad needed somebody to fall, so I fell. Dad needed a thrilling story, so he wrote a villain, and it’s not my fault for being written that way.

It’s the fault of those people who tried to stop me. Jack’s bitch mother and their entire parade of liars. Dean, the ever heroic sword, abusive and tough love, pulling Jack further away from me, not even giving us a chance. It’s Sam’s fault. It’s all Sam’s fault for not accepting that we were meant to be together. If he had just embraced us, he could’ve been everything. We could have been everything. Sam made everything worse. He was so noble, wasn’t he? Swooping into Jack’s life like a mother hen the second Jack was vulnerable, trying to make up for his own daddy issues by kidnapping my son! He was always hanging over my shoulder, trying to stop me from hurting my own child, like I would ever do that… 

But I did, didn’t I? 

No, no, it’s Castiel’s fault. It’s all his fault for this. He put me in this situation. Michael could have stood with me instead of with Dad. Why didn’t he help me? Why didn’t Cas side with me? Why did Cas dare to take my son away and raise him as his own? All of this monsters have been plotting against me from day one. I knew it. They’re liars. They’re all liars. 

They locked me away in a Cage for billions of years. They let me suffer. They watched me suffer all for the story. They blame me for things I never did! Or rather, they exaggerate. There’s no way what I did to Sam in the Cage made him feel so terrible. Everyone is terrible and lies. Everyone but Jack. Jack, he’s special. He’s different. 

Is he?

Isn’t he the same as the rest? He just wanted to use me, just like everyone else, and he deserves to die like everyone else. No…. no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t. Don’t I love him? Am I going crazy here? Jack’s the first thing I’ve cared about outside of myself. I’ve killed my own friends. I don’t give a damn about anyone. I’d watch Gabriel die again and again for my own needs. I fatally injured Jack in the last hour of my life. I had taken out his grace, stripped him of what he was, out of my own pure rage. Jack made me do it, but it wasn’t his fault. It’s the Winchesters. It’s always them. They brainwashed my kid. They turned him into this. 

It’s their fault I hurt him. Sam was the one that pushed me. Everyone would’ve worked out and nobody would have died if he had just let me through. It’s Sam’s fault Maggie died, and it’s Sam’s fault that I hurt Jack, and it’s Sam’s fault he ended up in the Cage. Everything is HIS fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not my fault. It’s NOT. 

It’s my fault.


End file.
